Angry Entrepreneur

Melvin Jarvis, a local entrepreneur, said he would destroy Commando Clean at all costs during an interview today. “Commando Clean destroyed my life. Now I’m committed to destroying Commando Clean, ” said Jarvis.

Jarvis spent years perfecting his invention called SkidView. SkidView is a special mirror mounted on the inside of a toilet seat. “The SkidView enables a person to see how well they’ve wiped,” said Jarvis. “It solves a universal problem people have using toilet paper. No one really knows whats going on back there. We wipe and wipe, but who really knows? Maybe there are skid marks half way up your back. My invention lets you inspect the crime scene.”

Jarvis recently appeared on the popular television show Tank of Sharks. His invention did not receive funding from any of the Sharks and he blames Commando Clean. One of the Sharks, Dwayne John, called the SkidView short sited and racist. “How is the SkidView going to work for black and brown people?” asked John.

Another Shark, Kalvin O’Leary become upset with Jarvis recalling his investment in Skidpurpedic Beds. O’Leary lost his entire investment and is now being sued after it was revealed the entrepreneur had simply been buying Tempurpedic ┬áBeds and treating them with a patented product known as Skidgard.